Pirates! Nope I don’t mean the fellas from the Disney flicks or Disneyland, for that matter. I’m talking about the real deal, the guys hi-jacking ships off the coast of Somalia. It’s getting out of control in that part of the world. I wonder why the navy ships from various countries, can’t wipe these guys out. Where do these lawless thieves of the high seas, hide theses hi-jacked ships? Early last year, they hi-jacked a super-tanker loaded with oil. How the hell did they hide it? It’s not like they sailed it to a small island and covered it with trees and branches, is it? This was a SUPER size ship. I think it is safe to say that these pirates operate from a base somewhere – probably an island. They have houses, families, few cows; pretty much everything needed for a small community. I can’t imagine their kids going to school as the only form of education would be the training of pirate skills. How to hold up a super-tanker with a gun and a rubber raft, for example.
From what I’ve read and seen on the various TV News programs – when these pirates see the ship sailing across the ocean, they jump in their small boats with outboard motors and zip out the ship. Maneuvering their small craft in front and along side. One pirate holds a bullhorn and shouts for the captain to stop the ship. Now the captain, up on the bridge, can’t hear shit, he’s watching through a pair of binoculars. However, it doesn’t take a Harvard law degree to figure out what the pirate in yelling about. So he looks at the helmsman and asks, “You think we can out run them?” The helmsman rubs his chin in thought.
“We could give it a shot, Skipper.”
The captain then ponders the helmsman’s response. While he’s thinking, – the pirate with the bullhorn is getting pissed off and decides to try some more persuasive methods. Bullets start bouncing off the ship like peanuts thrown on glass. These steel projectiles don’t do much – the ship is huge – just causing a few dents, but there is always the fear of a stray bullet hitting one of the crew in the head.
The captain turns to the helmsman.
“Shit, the fuckers are firing guns at us!”
The helmsman can see that for himself and resists the urge to say,
“Jeez, you think so?”
The captain asks one of his officers to check whether the crew are all accounted for and make sure no one is lying on the deck with a hole in his head. The officer reports back that all crew members are accounted for. The pirates continue their assault, refusing to give up. Finally the captain makes a decision. He walks to the ship’s intercom and informs the crew that the ship is under attack – something the crew knows already – they’ve been ducking bullets for the pass hour. Watching the assault on his vessel, the captain comes to a difficult decision, he tells his gallant crew, that he’s going to surrender to save lives – namely his. The pirates board, take over the bridge and sail to a secret location, where the ship is “hidden”. The people of the pirate village, seeing this huge fucking ship coming into the bay, probably run out with gallons of blue paint. They paint the entire ship blue, camouflaging the vessel. The authorities start searching for the ship, but can’t find it. After a few weeks of negotiations, a ransom is paid. The villager’s repaint the ship to its original color and hand it back.
The question is: why doesn’t the navy, air force and about every other military group, invade these islands and take out all the asshole pirates. First, the should find out how the pirates have managed to hide so many huge vessels. These outlaws are making Houdini and others look like idiots.