Some folks around the world are still coming to grips with the Internet terminology. Below are 32 phrases that have some country folk baffled.
1. Log On: Adding wood to make the camp-fire hotter.
2. Log Off: Pulling a half burnt log out of the fire.
3. Monitor: Keeping an eye on the BBQ.
4. Download: Getting the fire-wood from the back of the pick-up.
5. Hard Drive: Driving home after you’ve run out of cold beers.
6. Keyboard: Where you hang the pick-up’s keys.
7. Window: What you shut when the weather’s bad.
8. Screen: What you close to stop mosquitos
9. Byte: What mosquitos do if they land on ya.
10. Megabyte: What big fucking mosquitos do if they land on ya.
11. Chip: Something you eat while sipping beer.
12. Microchip: What’s left in the bottom of the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.
13. Modem: What you did to the lawns last Saturday afternoon.
14. Laptop: Where the cat sleeps.
15. Software: Plastic knives, forks and cups you can buy at Seven-11.
16. Hardware: Stainless steel knives and forks, from K-mart
17. Mouse: The small rodent that eats the corn stored in the shed.
18. Mainframe: What holds up your house.
19. Web: What spiders make.
20. Wedsite: Usually in the garage, under the house and on the veranda.
21. Search Engine: What you do when the truck won’t start.
22. Cursor: What you say when the truck won’t start.
23. Yahoo!: What you say when the truck finally starts.
24. Upgrade: A steep hill.
25. Server: Another name for the bartender at the local bar.
26. Mail Server: A guy that gives you drinks at the local bar.
27. User: A neighbor that keeps borrowing things from your house.
28. Network: What you do when there’s a hole in the fishing net.
29. Internet: Where you want the fish to swim.
30. Netscape: What the fish do, if there’s a hole in the net.
31. Online: Where you hang your laundry
32. Offline: What happens to the laundry in a strong wind.