Where are they now?

I was just sitting here thinking about George. You must remember him – George Bush. He was the President of the United States after Bill Clinton. George along with his cohorts, ran the country for eight years until the American public and the Constitution, saw the end of his presidency. So, what happens with these “EX-Busher’s”? Well, we know George went back to the capital of Texas, Dallas and moved into a modest little home, in the suburbs. George spends his days recording his memoirs of the successes and failures while captaining the United States. George has to vocally record his biography because he is not the best writer on the planet – in fact he’s one of the worse. George was also told that many of the words and phrases he used over the years, were not in fact, English. Officials at the Oxford Dictionary company spent years trying to fathom, what the fuck George was talking about.

Nowadays, when he’s not recording or driving the missus nuts with his incessant, asinine questions on pronunciation, George likes to play hide and seek with the Secret Service fellas assigned to protect him and the wife. Yep, George does things like, walking out to the front lawn, with Secret Service in tow, and ostensibly looking to the sky. The SS guys would follow his gaze and while they were looking up, trying to figure out what the fuck George was looking at, he’d suddenly run behind the house and hide. The SS guys would run round the house searching for him. Each man speaking to each other as they wandered from hiding place to hiding place.

“Campbell? Any sign of him? Copy.”

“Negative base. The fucker’s disappeared again. Jesus, why the fuck does he have to do this? I’ve got better things to do than chase this asshole. Fuck it, base, let’s not look for him, copy?”

“I hear ya, Campbell. But we’re stuck on this fucking assignment. Now, where the fuck is he?”

George, of course would be pissing himself with laughter in the tool shed, hiding between the Volkswagen and the lawn mower.

So that’s what dumb-ass George is doing. What about Donny Rumsfeld?

Well, as you all know, Donny received George’s boot toward the end of the latter’s presidency. George needed a scapegoat for the Iraq invasion screw up and Donny’s ass was in the perfect position for a kicking, when George was considering who was history within his administration.

Donny and wife, Lorraine, moved back to Donny’s hometown of Pottsville, Indiana. Donny took over his father’s barber shop business while Lorraine returned to her teaching roots and accepted a job at the local elementary school. Daily Donny trims and shampoos the hair of the locals while explaining to each customer how George fucked him. The customers have heard Donny’s stories countless times and are secretly fed up with his whining. However, rather than tell him straight, each person nods in understanding and wishes there was an Uzi handy.

Each July 4th, the town of Pottsville holds the annual picnic. A couple of steers are BBQ-ed. Ed, from Ed’s on Main street, supplies unlimited amounts of booze. Lorraine organizes the town’s bake sale – her speciality – Pumpkin Bread. Other women donate their cooking skills and there is fun and food for all. Finally, for the kids, Donny arranges the Weapons of Mass Destruction Treasure Hunt. Donny is positive that there are weapons buried or hidden somewhere in Pottsville. Hours pass and not one ” treasure “has been found.

“Wah, Mr. Rumsfeld! There aint no weapons, right? You’ve been bullshitting us,” the kids whine.

“Nope. I aint bullshitting ya. The weapons are there, keep searching.” Donny is adamant, he’s so sure there are weapons of mass destruction in the area.

Finally, Condoleezza Rice. Condie moved back to Alabama for a couple of years and took up her piano playing activities again. She had a few recitals around the country, finally moving to the Big Apple to be closer to classical music concert scene. Condie is also making a slew of money lecturing at various universities around the country. She informs the up and coming leaders of the world, that working as Secretary of State is a cool job. When asked, one time, what she liked most about the job. Condie told the listening youth, “The travel! Yeah, I’d have to say that traveling to many different countries and chatting with world leaders, was a total trip!” The same student asked her, “Then what was the worse part of the job? “Condie thought for a minute, then clasping the mike in her left hand, she replied, in a husky voice,” Dealing with George. He could never understand the fundamentals of the job. “Condie’s private life isn’t boring either. She finally let her rapper boyfriend, “Ten dollars”, move in with her. She helps him with the lyrics to various rap raps. Often she’ll add a piano accompaniment along with Ten’s profanity. Condie and Ten have a penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park and are known to have sex with the curtains open. Condie has been seen with her hands on the glass, while Ten, gives her a dollar from behind.

So, folks that’s what George, Donny and Condie are doing these days. Not all that different from any one of us, huh? Ex-Vice president Cheney is still active and is the boil on President Obama’s ass. Obama would love to have the fucker lanced, but alas none of the security services want to take him out. Obama considered having Cheney water-boarded for awhile, since he supported the practice, however, when the President learned that Cheney could hold his breath for an hour, he called it off. Cheney travels the country dogging out Obama for everything and it is clear he didn’t want a black president.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Betty Chatterjee
    Feb 21, 2010 @ 06:23:09

    Phew!

    Reply

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